Monday, November 30, 2020
REASONS WHY - by Joanna Fuchs
Friday, November 27, 2020
THE CHRISTMAS TREE AND THE WEDDING - by F. M. DOSTOYEVSKY
The other day I saw a
wedding... But no! I would rather tell you about a Christmas tree. The
wedding was superb. I liked it immensely. But the other incident was
still finer. I don’t know why it is that the sight of the wedding
reminded me of the Christmas tree. This is the way it happened:
Exactly five years
ago, on New Year’s Eve, I was invited to a children’s ball by a man high
up in the business world, who had his connections, his circle of
acquaintances, and his intrigues. So it seemed as though the children’s
ball was merely a pretext for the parents to come together and discuss
matters of interest to themselves, quite innocently and casually.
I was an outsider,
and, as I had no special matters to air, I was able to spend the evening
independently of the others. There was another gentleman present who
like myself had just stumbled upon this affair of domestic bliss. He was
the first to attract my attention. His appearance was not that of a man
of birth or high family. He was tall, rather thin, very serious, and
well dressed. Apparently he had no heart for the family festivities. The
instant he went off into a corner by himself the smile disappeared from
his face, and his thick dark brows knitted into a frown. He knew no one
except the host and showed every sign of being bored to death, though
bravely sustaining the role of thorough enjoyment to the end. Later I
learned that he was a provincial, had come to the capital on some
important, brain-racking business, had brought a letter of
recommendation to our host, and our host had taken him under his
protection, not at all con amore. It was merely out of politeness that
he had invited him to the children’s ball.
They did not play
cards with him, they did not offer him cigars. No one entered into
conversation with him. Possibly they recognised the bird by its feathers
from a distance. Thus, my gentleman, not knowing what to do with his
hands, was compelled to spend the evening stroking his whiskers. His
whiskers were really fine, but he stroked them so assiduously that one
got the feeling that the whiskers had come into the world first and
afterwards the man in order to stroke them.
There was another
guest who interested me. But he was of quite a different order. He was a
personage. They called him Julian Mastakovich. At first glance one
could tell he was an honoured guest and stood in the same relation to
the host as the host to the gentleman of the whiskers. The host and
hostess said no end of amiable things to him, were most attentive,
wining him, hovering over him, bringing guests up to be introduced, but
never leading him to any one else. I noticed tears glisten in our host’s
eyes when Julian Mastakovich remarked that he had rarely spent such a
pleasant evening. Somehow I began to feel uncomfortable in this
personage’s presence. So, after amusing myself with the children, five
of whom, remarkably well-fed young persons, were our host’s, I went into
a little sitting-room, entirely unoccupied, and seated myself at the
end that was a conservatory and took up almost half the room.
The children were
charming. They absolutely refused to resemble their elders,
notwithstanding the efforts of mothers and governesses. In a jiffy they
had denuded the Christmas tree down to the very last sweet and had
already succeeded in breaking half of their playthings before they even
found out which belonged to whom.
One of them was a
particularly handsome little lad, dark-eyed, curly-haired, who
stubbornly persisted in aiming at me with his wooden gun. But the child
that attracted the greatest attention was his sister, a girl of about
eleven, lovely as a Cupid. She was quiet and thoughtful, with large,
full, dreamy eyes. The children had somehow offended her, and she left
them and walked into the same room that I had withdrawn into. There she
seated herself with her doll in a corner.
“Her father is an
immensely wealthy business man,” the guests informed each other in tones
of awe. “Three hundred thousand rubles set aside for her dowry
already.”
As I turned to look
at the group from which I heard this news item issuing, my glance met
Julian Mastakovich’s. He stood listening to the insipid chatter in an
attitude of concentrated attention, with his hands behind his back and
his head inclined to one side.
All the while I was
quite lost in admiration of the shrewdness our host displayed in the
dispensing of the gifts. The little maid of the many-rubied dowry
received the handsomest doll, and the rest of the gifts were graded in
value according to the diminishing scale of the parents’ stations in
life. The last child, a tiny chap of ten, thin, red-haired, freckled,
came into possession of a small book of nature stories without
illustrations or even head and tail pieces. He was the governess’s
child. She was a poor widow, and her little boy, clad in a sorry-looking
little nankeen jacket, looked thoroughly crushed and intimidated. He
took the book of nature stories and circled slowly about the children’s
toys. He would have given anything to play with them. But he did not
dare to. You could tell he already knew his place.
I like to observe
children. It is fascinating to watch the individuality in them
struggling for self-assertion. I could see that the other children’s
things had tremendous charm for the red-haired boy, especially a toy
theatre, in which he was so anxious to take a part that he resolved to
fawn upon the other children. He smiled and began to play with them. His
one and only apple he handed over to a puffy urchin whose pockets were
already crammed with sweets, and he even carried another youngster
pickaback, all simply that he might be allowed to stay with the theatre.
But in a few moments
an impudent young person fell on him and gave him a pummelling. He did
not dare even to cry. The governess came and told him to leave off
interfering with the other children’s games, and he crept away to the
same room the little girl and I were in. She let him sit down beside
her, and the two set themselves busily dressing the expensive doll.
Almost half an hour
passed, and I was nearly dozing off, as I sat there in the conservatory
half listening to the chatter of the red haired boy and the dowered
beauty, when Julian Mastakovich entered suddenly. He had slipped out of
the drawing-room under cover of a noisy scene among the children. From
my secluded corner it had not escaped my notice that a few moments
before he had been eagerly conversing with the rich girl’s father, to
whom he had only just been introduced.
He stood still for a while reflecting and mumbling to himself, as if counting something on his fingers.
“Three hundred -
three hundred - eleven - twelve - thirteen - sixteen in five years!
Let’s say four per cent - five times twelve - sixty, and on these sixty.
Let us assume that in five years it will amount to well, four hundred.
Hm - hm! But the shrewd old fox isn’t likely to be satisfied with four
per cent. He gets eight or even ten, perhaps. Let’s suppose five
hundred, five hundred thousand, at least, that’s sure. Anything above
that for pocket money - hm...”
He blew his nose and
was about to leave the room when he spied the girl and stood still. I,
behind the plants, escaped his notice. He seemed to me to be quivering
with excitement. It must have been his calculations that upset him so.
He rubbed his hands and danced from place to place, and kept getting
more and more excited. Finally, however, he conquered his emotions and
came to a standstill. He cast a determined look at the future bride and
wanted to move toward her, but glanced about first. Then, as if with a
guilty conscience, he stepped over to the child on tip-toe, smiling, and
bent down and kissed her head.
His coming was so unexpected that she uttered a shriek of alarm.
“What are you doing here, dear child ?” he whispered, looking around and pinching her cheek.
“We’re playing.”
“What, with him?”
said Julian Mastakovich with a look askance at the governess’s child.
“You should go into the drawing-room, my lad,” he said to him.
The boy remained
silent and looked up at the man with wide-open eyes. Julian Mastakovich
glanced round again cautiously and bent down over the girl.
“What have you got, a doll, my dear?”
“Yes, sir.” The child quailed a little, and her brow wrinkled.
“A doll? And do you know, my dear, what dolls are made of?”
“No, sir,” she said weakly, and lowered her head.
“Out of rags, my
dear. You, boy, you go back to the drawing-room, to the children,” said
Julian Mastakovich looking at the boy sternly.
The two children frowned. They caught hold of each other and would not part.
“And do you know why they gave you the doll?” asked Julian Mastakovich, dropping his voice lower and lower.
“No.”
“Because you were a good, very good little girl the whole week.”
Saying which, Julian
Mastakovich was seized with a paroxysm of agitation. He looked round
and said in a tone faint, almost inaudible with excitement and
impatience:
“If I come to visit your parents will you love me, my dear?”
He tried to kiss the
sweet little creature, but the red-haired boy saw that she was on the
verge of tears, and he caught her hand and sobbed out loud in sympathy.
That enraged the man.
“Go away! Go away! Go back to the other room, to your playmates.”
“I don’t want him to. I don’t want him to! You go away!” cried the girl. “Let him alone! Let him alone!” She was almost weeping.
There was a sound of
footsteps in the doorway. Julian Mastakovich started and straightened
up his respectable body. The red-haired boy was even more alarmed. He
let go the girl’s hand, sidled along the wall, and escaped through the
drawing-room into the dining-room.
Not to attract
attention, Julian Mastakovich also made for the dining-room. He was red
as a lobster. The sight of himself in a mirror seemed to embarrass him.
Presumably he was annoyed at his own ardour and impatience. Without due
respect to his importance and dignity, his calculations had lured and
pricked him to the greedy eagerness of a boy, who makes straight for his
object - though this was not as yet an object; it only would be so in
five years’ time. I followed the worthy man into the dining-room, where I
witnessed a remarkable play.
Julian Mastakovich,
all flushed with vexation, venom in his look, began to threaten the
red-haired boy. The red-haired boy retreated farther and farther until
there was no place left for him to retreat to, and he did not know where
to turn in his fright.
“Get out of here!
What are you doing here? Get out, I say, you good-for-nothing! Stealing
fruit, are you? Oh, so, stealing fruit! Get out, you freckle face, go to
your likes!”
The frightened
child, as a last desperate resort, crawled quickly under the table. His
persecutor, completely infuriated, pulled out his large linen
handkerchief and used it as a lash to drive the boy out of his position.
Here I must remark
that Julian Mastakovich was a somewhat corpulent man, heavy, well-fed,
puffy-cheeked, with a paunch and ankles as round as nuts. He perspired
and puffed and panted. So strong was his dislike (or was it jealousy?)
of the child that he actually began to carry on like a madman.
I laughed heartily.
Julian Mastakovich turned. He was utterly confused and for a moment,
apparently, quite oblivious of his immense importance. At that moment
our host appeared in the doorway opposite. The boy crawled out from
under the table and wiped his knees and elbows. Julian Mastakovich
hastened to carry his handkerchief, which he had been dangling by the
corner, to his nose. Our host looked at the three of us rather
suspiciously. But, like a man who knows the world and can readily adjust
himself, he seized upon the opportunity to lay hold of his very
valuable guest and get what he wanted out of him.
“Here’s the boy I
was talking to you about,” he said, indicating the red-haired child. “I
took the liberty of presuming on your goodness in his behalf.”
“Oh,” replied Julian Mastakovich, still not quite master of himself.
“He’s my governess’s
son,” our host continued in a beseeching tone. “She’s a poor creature,
the widow of an honest official. That’s why, if it were possible for you
”
“Impossible,
impossible!” Julian Mastakovich cried hastily. “You must excuse me,
Philip Alexeyevich, I really cannot. I’ve made inquiries. There are no
vacancies, and there is a waiting list of ten who have a greater right ,
I’m sorry.”
“Too bad,” said our host. “He’s a quiet, unobtrusive child.”
“A very naughty
little rascal, I should say,” said Julian Mastakovich, wryly. “Go away,
boy. Why are you here still? Be off with you to the other children.”
Unable to control
himself, he gave me a sidelong glance. Nor could I control myself. I
laughed straight in his face. He turned away and asked our host, in
tones quite audible to me, who that odd young fellow was. They whispered
to each other and left the room, disregarding me.
I shook with
laughter. Then I, too, went to the drawing-room. There the great man,
already surrounded by the fathers and mothers and the host and the
hostess, had begun to talk eagerly with a lady to whom he had just been
introduced. The lady held the rich little girl’s hand. Julian
Mastakovich went into fulsome praise of her. He waxed ecstatic over the
dear child’s beauty, her talents, her grace, her excellent breeding,
plainly laying himself out to flatter the mother, who listened scarcely
able to restrain tears of joy, while the father showed his delight by a
gratified smile.
The joy was
contagious. Everybody shared in it. Even the children were obliged to
stop playing so as not to disturb the conversation. The atmosphere was
surcharged with awe. I heard the mother of the important little girl,
touched to her profoundest depths, ask Julian Mastakovich in the
choicest language of courtesy, whether he would honour them by coming to
see them. I heard Julian Mastakovich accept the invitation with
unfeigned enthusiasm. Then the guests scattered decorously to different
parts of the room, and I heard them, with veneration in their tones,
extol the business man, the business man’s wife, the business man’s
daughter, and, especially, Julian Mastakovich.
“Is he married?” I asked out loud of an acquaintance of mine standing beside Julian Mastakovich.
Julian Mastakovich gave me a venomous look.
“No,” answered my acquaintance, profoundly shocked by my - intentional - indiscretion.
***
Not long ago I
passed the Church of ---. I was struck by the concourse of people
gathered there to witness a wedding. It was a dreary day. A drizzling
rain was beginning to come down. I made my way through the throng into
the church. The bridegroom was a round, well-fed, pot-bellied little
man, very much dressed up. He ran and fussed about and gave orders and
arranged things. Finally word was passed that the bride was coming. I
pushed through the crowd, and I beheld a marvellous beauty whose first
spring was scarcely commencing. But the beauty was pale and sad. She
looked distracted. It seemed to me even that her eyes were red from
recent weeping. The classic severity of every line of her face imparted a
peculiar significance and solemnity to her beauty. But through that
severity and solemnity, through the sadness, shone the innocence of a
child. There was something inexpressibly naive, unsettled and young in
her features, which, without words, seemed to plead for mercy.
They said she was
just sixteen years old. I looked at the bridegroom carefully. Suddenly I
recognised Julian Mastakovich, whom I had not seen again in all those
five years. Then I looked at the bride again. - Good God! I made my way,
as quickly as I could, out of the church. I heard gossiping in the
crowd about the bride’s wealth about her dowry of five hundred thousand
rubles so and so much for pocket money.
“Then his calculations were correct,” I thought, as I pressed out into the street.
Thursday, November 26, 2020
Wednesday, November 25, 2020
BULGARIAN PAINTER - VASIL GORANOV
Vasil
Goranov is a contemporary painter from Bulgaria. He was born in
Velingrad in 1972 and studied at Veliko Tarnovo University.
His works are present in many international exhibitions and enjoy the appreciation of both critics and art lovers.
You will understand why after looking at some of his paintings:
Friday, November 20, 2020
HEALTH AND MEDICINAL BENEFITS OF RAISINS
Wednesday, November 18, 2020
NATURE'S WHISPER - by Aufie Zophy
LOVE AND BEAUTY - by Aufie Zophy
Monday, November 16, 2020
LEISURE - by W. H. Davies
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A PSALM OF LIFE - by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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